When it comes to the dating game, and yes it is a game, at some point we're either going to be the chaser or the chasee. However, it seems as though some people just don't really understand the basics of this game. One thing to understand is that EVERYONE loves the chase. Why? Because everyone loves and wants attention to some level. It's a basic human need. Women especially love the chase by the way. But things get complicated when people either don't know the kinds of games or how to go about playing them. So let's go over some basics...
Persistence vs Harassment:
For the chasers, who typically are men, the problem usually is that they don't know the difference between persistence and just plain harassment. I think that some men have the idea that if they are to chase a woman, they are supposed to just keep at it until they "win her over". The problem with that way of thinking is that it does not account for the possibility of the woman just not being interested in them at all. So what ends up happening is the chase is pretty one sided, and only favored by one party.
From the illustration, this is clearly an unwanted chase, that probably won't end favorably. The key to any successful chase is to first learn the rules of the game from the players involved. The trick is that the rules will change depending on the player. Since that isn't always the easiest thing to do, the best advice I could give would be to simply LISTEN. Some people play by various "rules" so always be observant and do not just assume or follow the "Le Pew Approach".
Example of "Le Pew Approach" :
Pepe: Hey Kitty, would you like to go see that new movie coming out this Friday?
Kitty: I'm sorry, but I've got plans.
Pepe: Oh okay, well can I get your number? Are you on Facebook? Can we be friends?
Kitty: Ummm...Maybe next time. I've got to go.
Regardless of whether Kitty genuinely had plans or not, Pepe should not just assume that Kitty is still interested. Often times people will let others down gently if they're not interested, so we have to take them for their word. Now if let's say Kitty was interested, and actually did have plans, then it's time to take a different approach. Play Tag!
The Game of "Tag":
The dating game should be like a game of tag. All you have to do is show some interest in the person you want to "play with". ( insert snickering here) When you give them the hint that you're interested, and they've returned it, you both have basically said "Tag you're it!". Just like in Tag, the other person is supposed to come after you and "tag you back" so to speak. Maybe their "tag" is continued conversation, some flirtation, a phone call, text, IM, or a follow up to your previous request to go out. (tags will vary) Now if they don't "tag" you back, then you should find another "playmate".
Example:
Joe: Hey Nicole, would you like to go see that new movie coming out this Friday? (The Tag)
Nicole: I'm sorry, but I've got plans.
Joe: Okay, that's cool. Well enjoy your weekend.
*a couple days go by...*
Joe: Hey Nicole, how have you been doing?
Nicole: I've been alright. Sorry I missed the movie last week. Is it still playing this week? (The returned Tag)
Beating the game of "Hard to Get":
This is probably one of the toughest games to play because it causes the most confusion with the mixed signals that are involved. However, there is a way to come out on top! The way to win out is simply...NOT to play at all. I say this only because it's better to assume they are NOT playing hard to get, because you could run the risk of really harassing someone if you assume they are playing Hard to Get. The benefit of NOT playing into the "Hard to Get" game is that you actually introduce the possibility of changing the rules according to your liking. You could even possibly force the other person's hand by making them chase you. That is, if they are interested in you of course.
All games have rules, and the dating game is no exception. Some games are better not to be played at all compared to others. Either way, the basic thing to remember is to be observant of the other "player" involved and what game or rules they're playing. Make sure their game gels with your own. If it doesn't, then move on. At the end of the day, it's not about winning...it's all about having fun....right???
All games have rules, and the dating game is no exception. Some games are better not to be played at all compared to others. Either way, the basic thing to remember is to be observant of the other "player" involved and what game or rules they're playing. Make sure their game gels with your own. If it doesn't, then move on. At the end of the day, it's not about winning...it's all about having fun....right???
